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Phone - Will Self A five-hundred-quid worry bead - and all I worry about is losing the bloody thing . . . 'Dementia-addled, 78-year-old antipsychiatrist Dr Zack Busner, turfed out of his home by his ungrateful progeny, is no longer certain of anything - except the persistent ringing of the phone in his pocket. Meanwhile, his autistic grandson Ben, drowning in conspiracy theories as he investigates the ruse known as the Iraq war, is urgently calling. Elsewhere, MI6 agent Jonathan De'Ath (aka the Butcher) is trying to conceal the one secret he knows will ruin him - his affair with tank commander Colonel Gawain Thomas, whose unit is busy shooting up Iraq. And somewhere a phone is ringing . . .